THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS Sunday 04 December, 2011

Gorgeous character design. Wonderful animation. Oh. It’s a f*cking musical.

Why Tim? Why? Why did you have to turn this into a fucking musical. In doing so you have rendered this film almost entirely unwatchable. I know it’s a personal opinion but I am that person and it’s my opinion. Musicals are, mainly, shit.

I watch films because I like stories. That means I like finding out what happens next. I therefore do not want to take a break from the narrative while you sing a very shit song to summarise what I just fucking saw less than a minute ago. I am not a mentally deficient goldfish. I do not need a musical re-cap.

Maybe if the music was good then I might enjoy it. The music is never good though. How do people get to write a musical? They are not renowned playwrights. They aren’t renowned song writers. Yet we (well not me) willingly pay them money to see mediocrity on both scores (pardon the pun).

Why do all songs from musicals sound like they were written by the same demented audio-sadist? I don’t know but if I ever catch hold of the little brain mangler I’m going to employ the ludovico technique and make him sit down and listen to show tunes for a month, the evil shit.

Ahem…as you can see, I don’t like musicals. I could only make it half way through this film before I had to reach for the PSP.

The plot revolves around the inhabitants of Halloween Town. One in particular, Jack Skellington, discovers Christmas Town and realises he would much rather be doing christmas than scaring people.  He devises a plan to grab a piece of christmas action for himself.

It does look gorgeous and it’s well voiced. The story is very enjoyable but it’s all ruined by the singing of terrible show tunes. If you can stomach the music you’ll love it. If you’re like me you’ll find that it truly is a nightmare at any time of the year.

 

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